Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in maia's DeadJournal:

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Tuesday, September 19th, 2006
8:34 pm	When Funny Things Happen to Bad People Or, What I Think the Punishment for Littering Should Be. As the person discarded whatever object they could not bring themselves to find an appropriate trash can for, it would instantaneously reappear somewhere in their home, where they would later discover it. Imagine driving along the highway, finishing your coffee from McDonalds, and tossing the cup out the car window. Then imagine going to bed that night and finding the cup between your sheets. It gets funnier! Entire bags of fast food waste could show up in your dishwasher. Crushed pop cans might appear in your linen closet. Throwing your cigarette butts on the ground could result in them floating in your breakfast cereal bowl. Any number of highly amusing combinations might occur--make up your own, and laugh your ass off at someone's ignorant self-trashing predicament! (Unless of course you are a litterbug... in which case, you should know that I'm plotting as you read this.) How many times do you suppose the person would exclaim in surprise and digust before they made the connection and started thinking about where they threw their garbage? On a darker and even more disgusting note, I think the punishment should also be applied to people who hit animals while driving. There's nowhere you could find roadkill in your house that wouldn't be disturbing--especially if it was a skunk. People need to take responsibility for their fucking actions. It's just too bad that a hilarious little cosmic twitch can't spontaneously implement my plan. Current Mood: discontent Current Music: my weakness/moby (flip_your_shit_past)
Sunday, September 17th, 2006
2:29 pm	I Did It! Yesterday I took the NCBTMB certification exam--and passed! Once they send me my certificate, I will be able to get a job and finally start doing what I've been training for, for three years. I'm so excited (and relieved)! A new chapter in my life, and all that good stuff. Plus I will FINALLY be able to charge for my work! Woo-hoo! Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: Bears game in the background (flip_your_shit_past)
Thursday, July 13th, 2006
10:08 pm	"This puts something in the way of me reaching a hundred." Maia, Maia, oh my Maia Maia, Maia, I love you Maia, Maia, oh my Maia Maia, Maia, I love you. If I live to be a hundred, I will always love you so... Maia, Maia, oh my Maia Maia, Maia, I love you... My dad has cancer in his bone marrow. Current Mood: drained Current Music: Tango Apasionado/Astor Piazolla (flip_your_shit_past)
Thursday, June 15th, 2006
8:02 pm	Heavier in Death My rat Piers had to be put to sleep yesterday. He was suffering from respiratory problems due to an infection in his lungs, and though he'd been on antibiotics for a week, he wasn't getting any better. I already knew what was going to happen at the vet and started crying as soon as I walked into the examining room, but I tried to stop and be a calm presence for him in his last few minutes. I gave him a little water from a squeezed-out tissue in my hand. They gave him a shot to make him sleepy, and then another to end it. They gave me some tissues and a booklet on humanely ending your pet's life. Then I took him home in a box in his old cage. The strangest thing was that, though he had lost a lot of weight while he was alive, he was twice as heavy in his box. I couldn't figure out why. I buried him under the lilac tree in my backyard, next to the other pets I've lost, and with a rose petal and a crumb of Mexican peanut candy in the box with him. He loved that stuff. I lit some incense on his grave. His brother is lonely. Current Mood: Somber Current Music: What a Wonderful World/Classical version (flip_your_shit_past)
Monday, March 27th, 2006
2:50 am	Fuck the L Word: Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it. Fuck the writers. Fuck the creators. Fuck the fucking characters. Come on, even real life has more happy endings than that. Don't they want a single fucking person on that show to be happy? Don't they want their fans to be happy? No, of course not. They'd rather string us along until we actually feel something for the characters on the show, then ruthlessly kill them off, thwart their happiness, have them make the stupidest decisions a human being could ever make, and overall turn the show into a muddy, worthless, depressing series that is pointless to watch because nothing will ever get any better. That show is full of people fucking over others and getting fucked over in return. You don't need to watch tv to experience that. Give me a show about lesbians where 99.9% of the characters have NOT cheated on their partners multiple times, gone straight, kidnapped babies and died a ridiculously scripted death by an overdramatised and utterly fake reason. Granted, you need some sort of drama to keep it interesting. But when you can't even keep the stories straight (no pun intended) because every five seconds something new and more drama-filled is happening to a different character, you become numb. Give us some positive role models. Then maybe I won't spend three months in a downward spiral of agony, due to the dawning realisation that the show I once loved is becoming more trouble than it's worth to watch. Until then, fuck the L Word. It had so much potential. Current Mood: pissed off Current Music: Working My Way Back to You/Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons (flip_your_shit_past)
Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006
12:50 pm	all over you Our love is like water Pinned down and abused For being strange Our love is no other Than me alone For me all day Our love is like water/angels Pinned down and abused All over you, all over me The sun, the fields, the sky I’ve often tried to hold the sea The sun, the fields, the tide Pay me now, lay me down Current Mood: distracted Current Music: live (flip_your_shit_past)
Friday, January 20th, 2006
7:12 pm	no-one knows my loneliness right now. not because they can't, but i choose not to share because i feel i have to deal with this on my own. no-one can tell me how to deal with this, how to come to terms with the fact that my girlfriend is leaving for four years to be in the marines. it is over. we will no longer be an us. i will be a different person, she will be a different person. growing hurts so much. Current Mood: desolate Current Music: my weakness/moby (flip_your_shit_past)
Monday, January 16th, 2006
9:28 pm	:( There are zero entries on my most recent friends' entries page. People need to update, dammit! Stop neglecting the dead in favour of the living!!!! On a better note, I saw Brokeback Mountain and I LOVED it. It was so refreshing after all the over-the-top, Hollywooded-out movies in the theatres lately. It was spare, minimalistic and tasteful. I highly recommend it to anyone who feels the same way about recent movies, and Mel, have you and Lindsay seen it yet? (If not, I'll go with you and see it again!!!!) Current Mood: calm Current Music: ring of fire/johnny cash (flip_your_shit_past)
Thursday, January 12th, 2006
1:55 am	I saw a shooting star When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are Anything your heart desires will come to you If your heart is in your dreams, no request is too extreme When you wish upon a star as dreamers do Fate is kind, she brings to those who love The sweet fulfillment of their secret longing Like a bolt out of the blue, fate steps in and sees you thru When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true Current Mood: fated Current Music: see above (flip_your_shit_past)
Sunday, December 25th, 2005
12:59 pm	Haapy Holidays! Merry Christmas! Happy Hannukah! Happy Kwanzaa! Good Ramadan! I hope everyone has a good day, whatever they're doing. And if I may steal this from my girlfriend... Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: Ay Yi Yi it's Christmas/?? (flip_your_shit_past)
Tuesday, December 13th, 2005
11:38 pm	happy dead-day to me happy dead-day to me happy dead-day dear blackripe, happy dead-day to me. Current Mood: zapped Current Music: tragic hero/vnv nation (flip_your_shit_past)
Monday, December 5th, 2005
10:10 pm	i figured. I took the "The Aura Color Personality" quiz on gURL.com My aura is... violet In the world of auras, violet is the color of visionaries. Violets are inspired individuals who are filled with enormous amounts of compassion for the human race. They are usually committed to great causes--think environmental or peace activism--that they think will save the world. Read more... What color is your aura? Current Mood: fleezled Current Music: doncha wish your girlfriend was raw like me... (flip_your_shit_past)
Tuesday, November 29th, 2005
7:04 pm	i have a star on my nose. i'm a star-nosed mole! gotta do homework. gotta clean house. gotta take vitamin c and stop being sick. gotta squeeze my girlfriend. gotta listen to PANZER MENSCH!!!!! Current Mood: ecstatic and crazy! Current Music: panzer mensch/and one (forever and ever and ever!!!) (flip_your_shit_past)
Wednesday, November 16th, 2005
6:32 pm	Don't be Vague. Ask for Tragic Death. http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi?word=tragic+death Current Mood: confused Current Music: monarch of the mighty darkness/mortis (flip_your_shit_past)
Tuesday, November 15th, 2005
1:05 pm	just so yall know I am a good woman. :) Current Mood: blushing Current Music: la noche/juanes (1 shot_made |flip_your_shit_past)
Tuesday, November 1st, 2005
1:42 pm	I love Halloween. Saturday was my party, which was small but fun. My girlfriend and I dressed up as Calvin and Hobbes (I was the tiger). We listened to dance music and carved pumpkins. (Italicsquirrel, it's good to know that you were thinking of me, and even considered the possbility of coming to my party. Trust me, whenever you do come out here, I will be thrilled.) Sunday was the All Hallows Eve Ball at Nocturna, which was a blast. This time I was a domme, and Liz was my Crow-like sub. The costume contest was awesome; third prize went to La Baroness (who I take it is a comic book character?), second prize went to Invader Zim and Gir (homemade costumes, too- wow!), and first prize went to, of all things, Bob Ross. It was amazing how crazy the gothed-out crowd went over something so... non-goth. We were a little sad that the lesbian Victor and Corpse Bride didn't win anything, but we took pictures. Best of all, my girlfriend busted out with some serious goth dance moves. I was shocked, because although I know she's a great dancer, I'd never seen her do the goth kick dance before. But there she was, transforming into a pro, right in front of me. Turned out she'd been secretly practising and waiting till Nocturna to show me. What a great girl, huh? Needless to say, my stockings weren't just wet with sweat. ;) For the rest of the night, I was the happiest girl alive. And of course it was all topped off (so to speak) by dancing to This is Halloween from The Nightmare Before Christmas at the end of the night. Yesterday I only worked for about two hours, since all the kids were leaving early to go trick-or-treating. When I got home, Liz got dressed up as The Spirit of Halloween, and I was The Traffic Avenger! I was really happy about my costume, since I made it all up myself, and it turned out looking really cute. Yeah, I'm bragging a little. But I'll post pictures later and you'll see. You'll all see! Ha ha! OK, so we went trick-or-treating in Elmhurst, which was nice because we only covered about three blocks, but still got a pretty good stash. We had tried to get various people to go with us to Statesville Haunted Prison later, but no-one seemed up for it, so it was just the two of us. I had a pretty good time, since I actually still get scared by people jumping out at me and screaming, or having my legs suddenly blasted with loud air, or squeezing through really tight hallways with people banging on the walls from the other side. Liz, on the other hand, being jaded and all, was able to walk straight through while commenting on how dumb everyone was for being scared and complimenting the actors on their makeup and costumes. So though she wasn't scared at all, hopefully she got something out of it. We had planned to rent The Addams Family to finish off the night, but were slightly delayed when I realised I had locked my keys in the car. We were rescued by three black security men who had a slim-jim and "hadn't always been honest men" (who says angels don't exist?). They got the car unlocked and we were on our way, albeit almost an hour later. Since the video store was closed, we decided to watch X-Files instead, which I thought was a great ending to our Halloween. The Post-Modern Prometheus rocks (right, Mulder?). I hope everyone else had as much fun as I did. Sorry for abusing the bold feature of HTML. Postscript: Halloween stuff is going to be seriously discounted today. Time to head back to the mall! Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: Candy! Lots and lots of Halloween Candy! (1 shot_made |flip_your_shit_past)
Thursday, October 6th, 2005
2:08 pm	My girlfriend has enlisted in the Marines. Current Mood: crushed (4 shots_made |flip_your_shit_past)
Friday, September 30th, 2005
7:06 pm	- i don't want to go back to work. - i don't want my girlfriend to think i'm an idiot. - i don't want to freeze in cold weather. - i don't want to feel like crying all day. - i don't want to see my psychiatrist, because i keep missing appointments and i don't know why i forget them but i'm sick and tired of it. - i don't want to do clinic because it scares me and i think i will freeze up and do nothing. for an hour. - i don't want to clench my teeth until my jaw hurts. - i don't want to die inside along with the summer. - i don't want to fight this horrible ache in my throat that means no-one understands me and i'm lonely in my brain. - i don't want to seem like i'm trying too hard when i ask my ex-girlfriend to drop me a line from france and she consistently ignores me. - i don't want to feel like i have no friends, especially when they don't hang out with me because they have to go home and watch their t.v. shows or don't invite me to their girlfriend's birthday party. - i don't want to feel like everything takes more effort than i have in me to do because all i want to do is sleep and hibernate and wake up warm and happier. * i want to enjoy the unseasonably warm weather this weekend. * i want italicsquirrel to give me the call she's been promising to give me for weeks. (or months. or years.) * i want to move back to ohio just to feel like i have people who've known me since i was little and don't think i'm a screw up. * i want to feel safe in my own mind. * i want to last longer than 20 minutes on one i love you. Current Mood: indescribable Current Music: the buzz in my foot as it wakes up (1 shot_made |flip_your_shit_past)
Sunday, September 25th, 2005
2:57 pm	twytch too much of the hurting tyme. mind shakes the fear away. not comfortable living in this skyn. twytch it off. Current Mood: anxious Current Music: 500 miles/the proclaimers (flip_your_shit_past)
Saturday, September 17th, 2005
12:57 pm	Second Chance The weather's beautiful. Sun shining, a cool breeze, the temperature perfect. Lovely day to be outside... and that's what you can experience when you come to my garage sale! Since nobody really showed up last weekend, I'm trying to have better success this weekend, from 12 to 5 Saturday and Sunday (yes, I know it's already started), at 241 Diane Ln. in Bolingbrook. I have toys, books, magazines, beauty products, electronics, household stuff and even a free box. Just do it! (flip_your_shit_past)